Turning The Page....A Fresh Chapter

Hello Hookers!
I do hope you're all well and having a very splendid start to the month of May?
Well this ladies and gentlemen, is my first post since becoming newly unemployed...yiiiiiipeeee!....(I think)

Not something usually celebrated, but I have been gearing up to this little splodge of my life for a good few months now. It's been a massive point of focus for me...approaching the end to my ten year run in "Tarzan The Musical" and what life after Tarzan would mean for me.
Well guess what? The day arrived 2 weeks ago and I am officially on the other side.

I know I'm making a big deal out of this, but honestly, it's a BIG deal for me. I worked so hard on the show, giving it literally blood sweat and tears. Dedicating my all and being so very proud of the show, and now its over.
I suddenly have free time, something I haven't had in years. A moment to stop, rejuvenate and reevaluate what I want and what's important to me. It's a pinnacle moment in my life, as I'm fast realising that the things that are important to me are not the same things that were important to me ten years ago. That means there are some changes on the horizon. Changes that I can make, now that I have the free time and the opportunity to make them.

It's a pretty weird feeling waking up without the regiment of heading to the theatre for a day of rehearsals followed by the show. A regime that I realise I actually quite liked having, It means my day had a focus. So at the start of this week, whilst on a rather long train ride from Berlin, I made myself a schedule. Just for this week, a few things each day that I want to achieve. I fear that without that little bit of regiment, my days will pass without having accomplished much. Yes this stint is a moment for me to relax a little, but I want to look back I see that I put it to good use, hence my new schedule!

So back to the end of my Tarzan journey...
My last day of Tarzan was so very special. I've given my all for the show and honestly sometimes felt that my hardwork hadn't been noticed or appreciated. However, on the final day, I couldn't have felt more appreciation, love and gratitude from my fellow cast-mates and colleagues. It was truly overwhelming.

I held it together for the majority of my final show, that was until the finale ended and I was lowered from my bungee, onto the stage. I was presented with the biggest bunch of flowers! The 1500 people in the audience were all standing and applauding and as I turned around, my whole cast were surrounding me, cheering and smiling. They were all giving me so much love and energy.

My eyes welled up and the feeling all became a little much for me. Tears of exhaustion, tears of relief, that I had made it to the end. Tears of sadness, to say goodbye to this beautiful show. More than anything, tears of joy, for the amazing people I've worked with and the amazing experience I've been fortunate to have. It was truly special and a moment I will never forget.

The day after finishing the show I flew back to England to spend a week or so with my family. Some quality time with Mum, Dad and little Poppy.

I wanted to be with my parents, to talk through my future plans and spend a moment away from Germany, pondering the many options and ideas milling around my head. I took a big suitcase back to my parents, containing just a few t-shirts and a pair of jeans. The rest of the suitcase I filled with yarn!! I wanted to play around with some projects ideas, as well as finishing some that had been on the go for quite some time.

It was so great to be home, to spend some time outside, walking Poppy and being in the countryside.

A bit of fresh air and a spot of sunshine certainly made me see things from a different perspective. Also chatting things through with Mum and Dad made me realise that it's ok to take a break and not go storming into anything straight away.

Being at home always means I indulge a little on my favourite foods. Yummy homemade bakes are my favourite! I love me some Victoria Sponge Cake.
Normally people stuff their faces and then fo for a nice long walk to "walk it off", not me! I went for a nice long walk and this was my reward/ refuel at the end! YUMMY!

A bit of fresh air and a spot of sunshine certainly make you see things from a different perspective. I left Mum and Dads feeling rested and ready to hit the city and catch up with some friends.

I do tend to go back to London each time I visit my parents. It just feels like such an escape for me to be there. It's so busy and bustling and for a short visit I find it insanely exciting. I know the other side of London also, being unemployed and competing to make your mark, the City can eat at you. A short visit though is perfect, I just loved my time there! I walked for miles, saw some shows (Bat out of Hell and Tina The Musical), spent hours in the massive Waterstones book shop just off of Picadilly Circus and made a point of speaking to people.

Sounds strange, but I was fully interactive with people on this trip. If somebody looked at me when I was in the bookshops cafe, I'd say "hello". Suddenly I was having a conversation. A beautiful conversation with a stranger, I'll probably never see them again, but it was a nice interaction.
It was the same at the theatre. I was watching the shows alone and guess what? So was the lady next to me. She was an absolute hoot! An American lady visiting London alone. We chit chatted before Tina the musical started and when she came back for the 2nd act she had two glasses of champagne with her....One for me, one for her. It was a joy to spend the 3 hours watching the show with someone who was equally open to be absorbed in not only the spectacular music and dance, but also the other people around her. That was a special moment for me and a note to myself to not be too closed off.

After a few days in London I made my strip back to Germany, I had to sort some things out at home. 2 days at home answering emails and getting my butt in gear and I jumped on a train to Berlin. Just for a few days to catch up with some friends and be a tourist. I've been to Berlin a few times, but they were always quick visits for auditions or work. This time I indulged the city and spent time walking around the city with a map in hand and jumping on a city tour and seeing some sights. I really enjoyed the city and found it bustling like London, but not as overwhelming. I love its artsy bohemian feel, maybe I move there some day!?

So now I'm back home, I have my newly created schedule and a rather positive feeling towards getting things achieved. I have some new books at hand and am making a point of having a little reading time each day. I'm currently reading "You Are A Badass" By Jen Sincero. I'm loving it! A self help book, which is really inspiring me, making me think differently and also making me laugh along the way. I'm literally going to town with the post-its, marking everything I want re-read and remember. Once that's done I have "An American Marriage" by Tayari Jones, this is this years Oprahs book club selection, so it's sure to be a good read, I can't wait to dive into it!

The plan, as I mentioned in my last Vlog post was to go to Spain for the three weeks after finishing Tarzan. That plan went out the window when I saw how dismal the weather was going to be. So now after my two weeks of galavanting around England and then Berlin, I'm having a few weeks at home working on myself and my blog before I make my next move.

It's an exciting moment for me, it's taking some adjusting, making a conscious efforts to be openminded, but it's an exciting moment!
Well.. that'a my little update, I'm going to get cracking on a crochet project or two, so hopefully sometime soon I'll have a little hooky to share with you all!
Until then!


  1. As always Matt, a lovely read, I love your style of writing you are a natural - so refreshing - perhaps your next project should be to write a book, I would buy it that I do know.. Good luck and thankyou for being 'you'...

  2. Matt, you can do anything you put your mind to and I'm proud of your decision to create new adventures...that takes courage! And it is okay to take some time to just "be"! Don't be hard on yourself! Lots of Hugs!

  3. WOW! A big job like that ending sounds really tough, especially if you loved doing it. Remember to take good care of yourself and tell us all about your upcoming projects and anything that's got you excited. It's ok to be sad, though and take some time to get yourself oriented to the next chapter. Good luck to you!!

  4. Well done, look forward to the next page

  5. Good for you! I look forward to seeing what you do next :)

  6. This was a good read. It is exciting to hear about what you are doing now. I am a solo traveler, I love it, I hope that you get to do more solo traveling. It would be great to hear more about your experiences in Berlin. And, I cannot wait to see what crochet projects you are working on!

  7. I was following some of your travels on your Instagram account and it looked amazing. If have been there in Waterstones with, true bookworm. Looking forward to your new ventures and what a wonderful Senegal from fast and audience. Truly deserved I'm sure xx